Once in my life

It's exactly 10:03 PM and goodness. I'm crying. why the hell am I crying? Ahh alam ko na, cguro kasi naalala ko lang yung mga days na nanjan xa, di ko lang napapansin yung presence niya. Ginawa ko xang laruan, I used him for my own good. Nagpagamit nman ako kahit alam kong masasaktan siya. I just realized na he loved me:(


It wasn't official. My feelings are on and off for him. Sometimes I only remember him when he talks to me or when I realize that I'm alone. I feel guilty that I threw away his only reminder of him for me, why did I even do that.fu. I don't know if I'm overreacting or I just miss him.


 I don't even know If I fell in love with him or I'm just stopping myself from falling since I know the consequences. I think I did fall for him but I keep on denying it to myself because it was very...unexpected. I only dreamed of being with the guy that I like, not with a guy that likes me. I was unprepared for that. He suddenly entered my life TOO FAST that I just had to stop.


Now talking to him seems pretty awkward. I think we're really better off as friends. No, not friends, more than friends, but less than lovers. I think meeting him was fate, a test on love, I learned that love can be as sweet as honey or as bitter as coffee. I experienced honey moments with him and I will always cherish that, I will always remember that he was once a part of my life. I will never forget him.


Oh my gosh. I started crying while writing this blog and I end up feeling nothing. see what I mean? on and off!  nkakaGG, Haha. well atleast I have this blog to remind me of the feeling that I feel whenever I remember him. and it's now 10:53 PM. so it was 50 minutes of drama. K. 


so here's the song that always remind me of him. Enjoy :)

OooUmm Ooo Yeah

Di ko malaman ang nadarama
Sa tuwing ikay aking nakikita
May kung ano sa damdamin
At abot-abot ang kaba

Sa araw-araw ay nagtataka?
Ang puso kong ito, o bakit ba?
Ang kilos koy nababago,
Na halos naandiyan ka na.

[CHORUS:]
Di makatulog sa gabi sa kaiisip
Sa diwa koy ikaw ang aking panaginip.
O bakit ba ikaw ang siyang laging laman ng isip ko
Sa bawat sandali ay nais kang makita
Kapag tumitig na sa akin ay ligaya
Anong hiwaga ang nadarama anong kaba

Paano mo kaya ako mapapansin?
Malaman mo kaya ang aking damdamin?
Ano ang dapat sabihin ng puso kong may pagtingin?

Sa araw-araw ay nagtataka?
Ang puso kong ito, o bakit ba?
Ang kilos koy nababago,
Na halos naandiyan ka na.

[CHORUS:]
(Instrumental)

Sa araw-araw ay nagtataka?
Ang puso kong ito, o bakit ba?
Ang kilos koy nababago,
Na halos naandiyan ka na.

[CHORUS:]

Di makatulog sa gabi sa kaiisip
Sa diwa koy ikaw ang aking panaginip.
O bakit ba ikaw ang siyang laging laman ng isip ko
Sa bawat sandali ay nais kang makita
Kapag tumitig na sa akin ay ligaya
Anong hiwaga ang nadarama anong kaba

Di makatulog sa gabi Ooo Ooo
Sa diwa ko sa isip ko

 http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tootsie_guevara/




Yes. Oh yes. KABA.. 


"Ang puso kong ito, o bakit ba?"

Read between the lines

This isn't actually one of my dramas  as the blogger says. Because of my boredom I decided to surf some songs and I found the song Flightless bird by American mouth really, superb interesting. It made me WOW like hell. this link will show you why: http://derric16.multiply.com/journal/item/268/FLIGHTLESS_BIRD_AMERICAN_MOUTH_song_meaning?&show_interstitial=1&u=%2Fjournal%2Fitem


It deciphered the real meaning of the song. At first you would think that the singer was such a nonsense for writing such song but the real meaning behind was YEAH. isn't that amazing? and because of that, I decided to write something for a certain somebody :)))))) not sure kung babasahin niya 'to well here it goes:

We were once Mickey and Timmy who became Tom and Jerry, 

But then the night fell and triggered my bones.

It was midnight when I realized, they were singing angels all along.

I just had to explore the oceans more, I had to go and leave my treasures for the angels

.There were times where my heart skips a beat and weeps as I watch an antique photo of my precious diamonds.

 They were a gift and I exchanged it for a fairy tale. 

But the breeze and the flowing sea kept me going to you. 

I have never adored such an intense feeling.

I know this is beyond the law because these are mere facts with opinions, 

since you're a bunny and I'm a bunny too. 

Everyday I long for that satin cloth of yours. 

This may sound like a jack in a box but please, Jack's just in love. 

But why are the stars falling down my cheek?

 I have brought you the moon but you keep smashing me. 

I thought the sky would finally calm, Oh how I ponder it would. 

I've been here for years trying to count my hair. 

I'm all juggled but all I know is, 

there wouldn't be a Tom without its Jerry.

I separated the lines but this should really look like an essay since it doesn't rhyme. lol. It's up to you if you want to decipher its meaning. It's easy to know if you just read between the lines ♥

"Since you're a bunny and I'm a bunny too :( "

I'm exceptional

Here I am surfing the net as usual, this is just what I do EVERY YEAR, I just wait for a certain somebody to talk to me for some reason. Well, I'm obviously, indefinitely bored. It's been two weeks since our summer vacation from school, and approximately 4-5 months away from the issues and dramas, I'm missing my bestfriends, all of them:(

This blogger, by the way, is what me and my bestfriends made to stay in touch with each other, to somehow survive the days that we're not together LAST YEAR. I miss my summer last year, it was actually fun, miserable but fun and because of my sentimental self I decided to drop by my old photos and look at them for a while, to see how I've grown like this, what I've been through. I've also seen what I lost and what I gained for the last year and I ended up staring at two blogs, this: http://bloggingmysummer.blogspot.com/2011/04/today-is-wednesday.html and this: http://beadachatterboxx.blogspot.com/2011/04/listening-to-one-of-jojos-songs-while.html.

YES, those are the bloggers of my bests which we used to stay updated with each other throughout the summer. Full of memories and well..yeah. But what really sticked to my mind was one of the posts of bea in her blog: "Reina, Gorgeous" I first declared myself gorgeous in sixth grade, I used the word gorgeous since I want a word most likely to be similar with beautiful and pretty that would be most appropriate to describe a Queen, I pondered that it would be unethical to call a Queen cute or bubbly so I used gorgeous instead, It sounded FORMAL - yes that's the word..FORMAL. moving on, I am gorgeous, not physically in an attractive way, I am aware that I am not that pretty, but just gorgeous, I don't like explaining okay?XP

I just recalled the song, it brings back so much memories, telling me that I'm exceptional. Well I am :( thanks to this song, I have found myself again, which I almost lost in the past 5 months.                                           
I am Exceptional. :)

♫ You're beautiful but you don't know

Can't see what's there inside your soul

Always feelin like you're not good enough

You wish you could be someone else

Sometimes you just can't see yourself

But I can see just who you are, who you are

You're exceptional the way you are

Don't need to change for nobody

You're incredible, anyone can see that

When will you believe that?

You are nothing but exceptional

(Yeah)

If you could see the one I see when I see you

You'd know how lucky you are to be you

I see through into you

And you are

You're exceptional the way you are

Don't need to change for nobody

You're incredible, anyone can see that

When will you believe that? (You are)

You're exceptional the way you are

Don't need to change for nobody

You're incredible, anyone can see that

When will you believe that?

You are nothing but exceptional ♫

Sana nandito ka

Here I am listening to this song "I wish you were here" by Avril Lavigne. I''m currently missing somebody SO BAD. I'm gonna die any moment now. Here is the lyrics for you to feel the pain I'm experiencing now.
I can be tough, I can be strongBut with you, it's not like that at allThere's a girl that gives a shitBehind this wall, you just walk through it
And I remember all those crazy things you saidYou left them running though my headYou're always there, you're everywhereBut right now I wish you were here
All those crazy things we didDidn't think about it, just went with itYou're always there, you're everywhereBut right now I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you here, here, hereI wish you were hereDamn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you near, near, nearI wish you were here
I love the way you areIt's who I am, don't have to try hardWe always say, say it like it isAnd the truth is that I really miss
All those crazy things you saidYou left them running though my headYou're always there, you're everywhereBut right now I wish you were here
All those crazy things we didDidn't think about it, just went with itYou're always there, you're everywhereBut right now I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you here, here, hereI wish you were hereDamn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you near, near, nearI wish you were here
No, I don't wanna let go, I just wanna let you knowThat I never wanna let go, let go, oh, ohNo, I don't wanna let go, I just wanna let you knowThat I never wanna let go, let go, let go, let goLet go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let goLet go, let go, let go
Damn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you here, here, hereI wish you were hereDamn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you near, near, nearI wish you were here
Damn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you here, here, hereI wish you were hereDamn, damn, damnWhat I'd do to have you near, near, nearI wish you were here

- You're always there, you're everywhere   But right now I wish you were here :((